Parenting is not an easy task. It poses many different problems and insecurities. There is no perfect way for parenting and parents are bound to disappoint their children at some point no matter how good they are. But how should one minimize the rate of disappointment? This article gives you a thorough guide for the parenting role.
1- Set boundaries and maintain good discipline
Discipline is a crucial thing in every household. The aim of discipline is to assist the children in choosing appropriate behavior and learning self control. Children might not obey the limits you establish sometimes but it is important for them so that they can grow into responsible adults. Each house should have rules so that the children can know where your expectations stand and follow them accordingly. Some examples of the rules are: No TV until the homework is completed and no name calling with siblings. There are other steps too after establishing rules. You can tell your children warnings and consequences if they fail to follow a certain rule. This is where most parents fail because they do not give punishment or consequences to the children after a few times which makes the children inconsistent in behavior.
2- Remember you are a role model
Young children learn everything about behavior and how to act by seeing their parents. Children absorb the choice of words, actions, expressions,habits and preferences of the parents. The younger the age of the child is, the more they will pick up. Sometimes parents tend to get frustrated and angry. But before showing the violent side to the children, ask yourself if you would be okay if your children acted in the same way towards you. The eyes of the children never leave.
Studies have revealed that children who act rudely towards other children do so because they were treated with anger at home. Make a mental list of all the traits and qualities that you want to see in your children and then start practicing them on your own so that the children can adopt them. Practice honesty, respect, kindness, empathy, friendliness and tolerance. Be unselfish and good natured.
Do good for others without expecting a return. Be grateful and offer others help. But most importantly, treat the children like you expect others to treat you.
3- Be flexible and mold your parenting style
Most parents have unrealistic expectations which they want their children to follow. This is unfair to the children who are young and are just trying their best. Many parents have a lot of complaints and often begin their sentences with “My child should…”. This hurts the self-esteem of the child and they feel disappointed with themselves. Therefore, parents need to have realistic expectations and not demand much. Understand that each child’s progress is different and no child should be compared with other kids. Focus on the good qualities of the child and be happy just the way they are.
If you dislike the behavior of your child, then change the environment because the behavior and environment have a direct link. For example, young children of 2 year olds usually ask for things that are inappropriate or bad for them. This results in parents saying no to them frequently. Hearing ‘no’ so many times has a bad effect on the child’s behavior. Therefore, look for things which are appropriate and give them to your child as an alternative so that no frustration occurs.
As the child grows in years, it is important to change the parenting style as well. This is because the needs and demands of certain age periods are different. The parenting style which you have adopted at a certain age will stop working when the child reaches the adolescent stage. For example, teenagers look for a role model in their social circle instead of their parents. But this does not mean that you should stop providing appreciation, praise, guidance and standard discipline if the teenage child is given independence as well. You should also grab any chance of connecting with children.
4- Make Communication your top priority
Children not only look up to the parents for guidance, they also need strong communication. Children want you to be vocal about everything and explain everything even the instructions you give to them so that they can understand things in a clear context. If you throw instructions and guidance without explaining why you expect them to follow it, they will think that your parentinghas no motive or value. Similarly, if you have a problem regarding your children’s behavior, then address it in a positive way. Explain to them why it bothers you and why it is bad. Then motivate them to do better and act in a way which is appropriate around others. Adopting this positive mindset will prevent any misunderstandings and confusions. Your children will look up to you even more.
5- Show your children that your love is unconditional
Being a parent does not mean that you are supposed to correct and guide your children all the time. Your children are deserving of love and affection as well. So try being loving to them more often. Express your love through gestures, actions and words. Even when you are correcting your child, it should not be done in a hurtful or demeaning way. For example, when the time of confronting your child arrives, do not criticize, blame or point out flaws of your child. This hurts the
self-esteem of the children to a great extent or worse, they might start resenting you which will harm the bond between parents and children. Therefore, keep the goal of nurturing your children even when you are discipling them. Do not let go of the motive of encouragement and support while correcting them. Your children should know that even though they messed up, they are still loved by their parents.
6- Appreciate your children when they are behaving good
Parents often develop a habit of pointing out wrong in their children so frequently that they forget to mention their positive aspects. If you keep on reacting negatively to your children, you will harm their self-confidence. Therefore, always remember to appreciate the good in your child whenever they behave in a positive way. For example, praise them for eating the vegetables and studying hard. Appreciation will make the kid do much more good in the future because children feel encouraged this way.
Practicing the above-mentioned tips will make you a better parent. These guidelines will lead to a better connection between you and your children.